The Sunday Sermon ; Tim Cahill

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For those in Helmand Province , Afghanistan generally , or indeed ANYWHERE Serving Their Country and away from their Loved Ones , if this lightens even 5 minutes of your day , then , to borrow the parlance , it shall be , Mission Accomplished .

Stay Safe , Peoples . THAT , is a GD ORDER !!!

For My Mother , My World , LCABarb , an’ Me Aunty Doreen .



May the Good Lord be with you all .

Welcome all to our little corner of the Sabbath .

As I stated last week , and in view of today’s impending fixture , there is a broad Merseyside Derby theme to both last week’s Sermon and this one.

When David Moyes eventually hangs up the keys to the Manager’s Office , and the inevitable reviews of his tenure begin , I believe that on the topic of his greatest ever Everton signing , in spite of various genuine contenders for the honour , the subject of today’s Sermon will stand victorious .
Costing a measly £1.5 million , he has subsequently scored over 50 goals for this great club , and please God , more to add . He plays with a passion and a love for a wonderful institution , matched only by the very greatest legends of Everton F.C.
When it comes to ,  ‘Getting It’  , the recipient of this morning’s focus , is a tattooed up bluenose of the very highest order , albeit via Sydney , Australia .

Ladies and Gentlemen of the Congregation , , may I introduce , Timothy Joel Faliqa Cahill .

Timmy was born in the land of the Swag Bag , on December 08 , 1979 , to a British Father and a Samoan Mother . A gifted footballer from childhood , the lad comes from a family of Athletes – his brother , Chris is a Professional Footballer , and cousins , Joe and Jeremy Stanley , are both All Blacks , and Ben Roberts , N.Z. Rugby League . He went to Kingsgrove North High School , and whilst there , was approached by the Samoan F.A. and was subsequently chosen for their Under -17 side . He was 14 years of age . He duly opted to represent the land of his Mother , and continued with his education . Upon leaving School , Tim signed to his local side , Sydney United . A supremely confident individual , he begged his Parents to let him travel to England to seek his fortune , and , as Millwall had responded to Timmy’s letter and had him Scouted , they offered him a contract .
Thus , Mr. and Mrs. Cahill - he says it’s Car- Hill , btw , but there we are ; were reluctantly persuaded , and Our Timmy was bound for Cold Blow Lane , in a free transfer from the Aussie club .

Timmy did a short stint in the reserves whilst acclimatizing , but was soon a fixture in the Lions’ midfield . Indeed , in 2003/04 virtually single handedly dragged them , for the first time in their history , to an F.A. Cup Final . Certainly , he was the man who got them to Cardiff , after the Semi Final score line – which L.C.A.B. won a tasty little few quid that year , ( makes mental note for 5 Hail Marys and 5 Our Fathers in penance ,..) Millwall , 1-0 , Cahill . They got mullah’d in the Final by Manchester United , 3-0 ,
nevertheless , Timmy did not disgrace himself , and it was with whoops of joy from myself , when whilst incarcerated on the train , returning from , ironically , Crystal Palace , I was informed that Palace had baulked at the extra £100,000 – their offer having been provisionally accepted by Millwall , allowing Everton to step in and seal the deal at £1.5 million and add-ons . Timmy Cahill left Millwall F.C. having played an impressive 250 games , and an even more impressive 52 goals for the club .

On his move to Goodison , Timmy said ; ‘ It’s a dream come true ,..’
He docked at an Everton side recently shorn of Wunder-Kind Rooney , and still in the early days of Moyes rebuilding project . The up one year , down the next cycle was beginning to manifest itself , and anybody else , like myself , who had travelled to Manchester City to witness Asbo’s last game for us would not have been filled with optimism for the coming campaign . Stubbs , Ferguson , Weirdo and Undies were the stalwarts . Martyn was coming to the end in goal . A midfield consisting of no-one in particular . Gravesen and McFadden were about as close as we came to flair .

We were down but not out , though in desperate need of a Hero .

Timmy Cahill made his debut at Old Trafford , in a decent 0-0 draw . He acquitted himself well , and was unlucky not to score in our best performance there in 5 years . The following week , as the fixtures would have it , we again found ourselves in the land of ‘Bobbins’ , but this time , The Council House .

I duly made another trip down the motorway . However , due to my previous fortune regarding our Australian , I decided – as I had the previous week , though then only for Timmy to score ; on a sneaky little £5 double ; Cahill , 1-0 . Thus , me and my mate Dave Carroll from Blackburn and his lads , celebrated all the more at the final whistle , as of course Timmy scored the only goal of the game- though he received a red card for removing his shirt . He was off and running .

Kerchinng , ( ..10 Hail Marys ,..)
His sending off did take the shine of it a tad , if only because the home fans would have to wait to see him , but the point was made . This kid was a winner .

As we are all aware , 2004/2005 turned out to be one of our best seasons in a generation .

Rooney wasn’t missed . We were limited , that is true , Pistone , Kilbane , S Watson , but we had grafters and more than that , team spirit , something , by the end of the boy wonder’s tenure in blue , that was sadly lacking .
We despatched the RS at home , and anyone wishing to gauge our little Antipodean’s Azzuri – Love , need only check his kite , as he is top man on the ,  ‘Piley-On ‘ , resulting from Super Lee’s strike . He  ‘Got It ‘.

Gravesen left at Christmas , as Beattie came in , as well as a Poco Spanish Maestro , Mikel Arteta .

So , we battled our way to , given the personnel , an incredible 4th place in the Premier League , finishing above the RS , and into the qualifying round of the Champions League . From a personal perspective , our win at Villa Park , 3-1 – it should’ve been 13 , is among my top ten Everton away days ever . Possibly even top 5 . We were awesome , I had a ball , and was on M.O.T.D. as Timmy gets his second .
He finished his first season as an Evertonian as top scorer , 11 , and Player of the Season in our best campaign in nearly 20 years . He noted the influence of both Alan Stubbs and Duncan Ferguson in learning him what it means to play for Everton . The Little Aussie had settled in lovely .

During the previous summer Timmy had been selected to represent the land of his birth in the Olympics . Due to his earlier game for Samoa Under – 17 , there was a certain amount of red tape , but he was ultimately allowed to play for Australia . He made his debut at Loftus Road , Q.P.R. against South Africa , and was a huge hit with the Convicts , as after being selected for their Olympic squad shortly after , he departed from the Games having scored 5 goals in his short Australian career . His exploits the previous season , allied to his amazing start to International Football , saw him voted Oceania Player of the Year for 2004 .

He returned to Merseyside to find the club , as a sign of the impact he had made , had placed a new 5 year contract on the table with greatly increased terms . He signed it in an instant , and accepted the responsibility of being one of the Club’s top earners .

Alas , once more , us being Everton , the new season did not exactly go to plan . Indeed , by early September , via the worst decision that Collina ever made , plus an absolute horror show in Bucharest , we were out of all European competitions . Thus , seeing all the previous year’s efforts going to nothing – though Our Timmy did score his first European goal for Everton in the 1-0 home win over Bucharest .

In the league , also , the up – down thing was in full flow . We meandered our way through a disappointment – given the previous year , of a season . The nadir , two , 3-1 Derby losses – though again , Timmy did get his first goal at Anfield , Kop end . Also , a 4-0 home loss to Bolton , and the high points , a 4-1 trouncing of Aston Villa , and Tim missing out on his first Everton hat-trick , when , after having scored 2 versus Charlton , he crashed a corker of a volley against the Gwladys Street End Post . Another volumes speaking gesture was , upon scoring against his previous club Millwall in the F.A.Cup 3rd round replay , he chose not to celebrate . ‘To ,..(do so ) ,..would have been a kick in the teeth .’

The kid was brought up properly . That much was obvious .

2005/06 also saw the debut of Timmy’s  ‘Sparring with the corner flag’ , .. celebration – borrowed from his friend , and A League Striker , Archie Thompson – alas for Thompson , only he and Timmy still call it the Archie Thompson Celebration ..

We ended up 7th , and towards the end of the campaign we were devastated to lose Brian Labone , to a Heart Attack . The final game of 2005/06 saw the retirement of our one remaining Everton Legend on the field , as Duncan departed , which left Timmy as the Standard Bearer of all things Evertonian , at the end of a campaign we all just wanted to forget .

Of course , in the summer of 2006 , the World Cup was held in Germany . Australia had qualified for only their 2nd ever Finals Tournament , and with Gus Hiddink as Coach , were quietly confident . Timmy by this time was a recognised member of the squad . Their first game against Japan , saw our favourite Antipodean become the first player to score for Australia at the Finals , and in doubling his tally , of course , became the first Aussie to get 2 in a game He also won M.O.M. , again , the first for a Convict at a W/C Finals . He also played in an unlucky loss to Brazil and an excellent draw against Croatia . In what turned out to be an excellent showing by the team , they were unlucky , some say robbed , against the eventual winners , Italy , going down 1-0 . Nevertheless , Timmy was now a , Star on the World Stage , and kids all over the globe were boxing imaginary corner flags .

2006/07 began with our breaking our transfer record for the second time in 18 months . Andy Johnson was signed from Crystal Palace , ostensibly to play alongside his great mate James Beattie , when in fact ,  Beat’s , God love him , just didn’t quite cut it at Goodison , and AJ would play the majority of his first season alone up front , thus allowing Timmy to , do his thing .

Our season began at Watford , with AJ, scoring on debut , in a 2-1 victory . A draw at Blackburn and another win at home versus Spurs , saw the RS come to Town with us playing relatively decently . Though , they as ever , are the RS , and should NEVER be either trusted or under-estimated .

As things turned out , we needn’t have worried . Two first half goals from Timmy , his first Goodison Derby strike , and one from AJ , saw us take control . We truly battered them , and by the time AJ scored his second and gave the now famous , 3 – 0 , sign with his hands , we were partying like it was 1999 – again .

Two things stand out for me in that game . Timmy’s magnificent headlock upon Alonso in the build up to the 2nd goal , and his post match interview .

‘ ..Yes , I’m delighted to have beaten Liverpool , 3-0 . However , I’m more pleased for AJ . Now he knows what it REALLY means to be a blue . ‘

In October 2006 , Tim Cahill was nominated for the Ballon D’Or – the first Evertonian in 18 years to receive such an honour , and a sign , of the Global impact he had made both in the Premier League , and on International Football . Unfortunately , however , 2 games later , in the home match versus Aston Villa , Tim was caught by team-mate ,  ‘Super ‘ Lee Carsley , and crocked for 3 months with a knee injury .
He made his return in the home draw with Reading in January , though in a microcosm of our year that season , he was no longer settled back down than he was gone again , after snapping his metatarsal in the draw at Brammall Lane . I was there that day , and 2 things stick in the mind . John Parrot with his own boy and Duncan’s eldest going in with the lads , thus giving the kids the real away experience , and , Timmy , having done the injury – no-one’s fault , was helped off the pitch , with the game going on , by one , Phillip Jagielka .I remember walking up after the game with two of their lads whom told me he was Everton
bound . That was March , I was made up , as aside from being a Gentleman with Timmy he was a hell player an all . History made me right .

The injury saw an end to a frustrating season for both player , and club . He finished his worst ever campaign , goals wise , with 5 . Fortunately , despite a little wobble near the end , the team carried on its momentum in his absence , clinching 5th place and a UEFA qualification place . However , as a club , we were once more devastated to lose yet another Legend , with the untimely death of the Great Alan Ball .

Timmy signed a further extension in June 2007 , keeping him at Goodison until 2012 .

2007/8 dawned with a victory over Wigan , though in truth , it was once more , two-steps-forward-one-step–back . Supposedly the worst Liverpool team we had ever seen came and beat us in the Derby , and the nadir was Villa at home., Timmy was injured in a pre-season friendly against Werder Bremen and did not return to the side until October , against Larissa , scoring on his resumption and it couldn’t be soon enough for Evertonians . Whereas the previous season we had focused , as a side around one particular individual , more than we have for anyone since Lineker ; alas , AJ was not anything like as effective second time around , particularly in front of goal . With Timmy still recovering , Moyesey duly broke the transfer record he had set with AJ , and signed Ayegbeni Yakubu .

There was , however , one moment of controversy , when , after scoring in the 3-1 win over Portsmouth , Cahill crossed his wrists in reference to his brother Sean , then incarcerated on charges of Grievous Bodily Harm . After much furore in the media both here and abroad , Timmy issued an apology to the families of the victims and anyone whom had been offended .

Tim Cahill made his 100th appearance for Everton against Sunderland at Goodison scoring one in in the 7-1 win .
In his post-match interview , he reiterated the influence of Alan Stubbs and Duncan Ferguson in instilling in him in what it MEANS to be playing for Everton .

The team maintained a fairly consistent season , with a League Cup Semi Final , our first in 20 years – losing to Chelsea over 2 legs , a decent show in Europe , losing unluckily on penalties to Fiorentina in the last 16 , and securing a 5th place in the league and yet another Eufa qualification spot .

Our favourite Aussie once more achieved his target of 10 goals for the season and all in all we were pleased ..

With the fresh season of 2008/09 came a new bean pole , Sideshow-Bob look-alike record signing , and an opening day defeat to Paul Ince’s Blackburn . This was followed by a win at W.B.A. , then a home tonking off Pompey , with Glen Johnson bagging a cracker in the St. End . We could all see the progress , but it was still two-steps-forward , too bleeding often . Timmy missed the first 3 games , returning , and scoring in the 3-2 win at Stoke . He bagged another in a draw at Hull , then the RS came to Town ,
We were relatively confident , despite the previous year’s ‘hiccup’ . We felt we were a better side than 12 months ago , and , if we Feed the Yak ,Who knew ???

As it turned out of course , a team even worse than the one last year came and beat us 2-0 . Furthermore , Our favourite Aussie was sent off . A totally horrendous and nightmarish day all round .

However , the side dug in , with some decent results , a second win on the trot at Spurs , but a devastating last minute home defeat to Aston Vanilla . Timmy , however , stepped in to save the day . Taking over as Captain from the injured Phil Neville , there was no prouder Blue .

Indeed , for Christmas 2008 , Tim Cahill gave himself an addendum to his already formidable Family Tree Tattoo , by getting , E.F.C. inscribed – a la L.C.A.B. , as it goes ; thus , becoming the second genuine Everton Hero in a row to have the Club’s name , badge , emblem or initials permanently imprinted upon his person .

Typically us , as we were winning at White Hart Lane , Yak picked up a nasty injury which would end his season . Given that AJ was now a Fulham player , Moyesey had no choice but to play Cahill up front on his own . We were trepidatious to say the least . We needn’t have worried .
He scored the winner at Eastlands before Christmas , the only goal of the game . He scored again at Boro as we repeated both the score-line and the win on Boxing Day .
The draw for the F.A. Cup saw us get sent to Castle Grey Skull , but first we had to go there in the league .

I struggled for tickets for the Monday night game , so I ended up going on me own . I was sat in the row next to the RS fans . While we put on a good show – Reina made a World Class save early on , Kop end , from the best header from an Everton player at Anfield that I have ever seen – Timmy bulleted one from the edge of the area into the bottom corner , from a top Victor cross ; as Stevie Me La scored his requisite goal against us , and as time was marching on , I was fearing the worst . We had a shout for a penalty , on Victor , kb’d , but the same player , effective in a wide role , drew a foul , and a free kick , near the touchline , approximately 10 yards from the dead ball line . If you ever watch this again , watch Mikel’s signal , and my ABSOLUTE fav’ Convict , as he weaves in between both Carragher and Skirtel , ducks down and nods the ball into the Anfield Rd goal . I went BESERK . Indeed , I celebrated that goal that night like few Derby goals ever . In scoring , Tim Cahill became the first Evertonian since Dixie to score 3 times at Anfield . Absolute Super Star , btw , and I stayed behind for TIME an’ all .

So , boss result in the league , see you Sunday for the Cup game . Alas , us being Everton , we had a further injury , Arteta receiving a knock in training and thus missed out . The little known Segundo – which can’t have been great for his self-esteem as a youth , Castillo stepped in . Again fearing the worst , this time we actually started well , Jo Lescott scoring from a Timmy header – which would’ve gone in , gave us a half-time lead , and doing OK .Of course , second half , Me La , rifled in a 30 yarder which our Goalie should’ve stopped and it was back to Goodison in 2 weeks .
Meanwhile , Tim Cahill scored his 100th career goal in the 1-1 draw against Arsenal , an unlucky 1-0 defeat at Man United and it was the RS replay . With Neville returning , Timbo was no longer Captain . However , it didn’t look as if anyone had told him , as on the night he was immense . On his own up front he harassed their whole back line all night . Of course , the Good Lord was with us as Gosling scored his most famous goal in Blue . Cue delirium .

We went on to batter Bolton in the league , 3-0 , then took revenge for the league game in blasting Vanilla out of the Cup , 3-1 . In scoring , Timmy dedicated his goal to the victims of the Victorian Bush Fires . On another occasion , upon scoring against Bate Borisov in Belarus , he dedicated that goal to the victims of the Samoan Tsunami Earthquake .

In an absolutely freakish , yet quintessentially St. Domingo manner , we lost Arteta and Anichebe for the rest of the Season , in the same game at the Barcodes – we haven’t forgotten , Kopite Tawt Nolan . Thus , having had one arm tied behind our backs previously , we were now limping as well . Amazingly , the side , with Tim Cahill as our absolute Vanguard fought on . We saw off Middlesborough in what , after an early scare , was a relatively stress-free passage into the F.A. Cup Semi Final , and our first trip to Wembley in 14 years .

Unfortunately , we had to play Manchester United .
As we all know , we found out that Superman DID indeed wear Tim Cahill Pyjamas as we miraculously hung on in a game of little chances to hold our nerve in the shoot-out – though Timmy missed our only poor penalty , watch his face after he does it , then check him when Jags buries the winner and pandemonium breaks out .

It was therefore beyond cruel , past heartbreaking when in an innocuous fall against Manchester City , Jags did his cruciate ligament , was out for the season and effectively lost us the F.A. Cup Final . Amazingly , we literally limped on , securing a UEFA qualification on our league standing , but also via our Cup exploits .

We went on to lose a Cup Final , which , in truth , despite an early goal , we were never going to win . We had came through nearly 6 months of , make-do-and-mend , and not merely survived , but prospered . Everyone stood up , but most of all , Timmy . He was truly inspiring in the way he played a position other than his own , on his own . He came up against most of the top defenders in the Country during the period and gave them ALL a game . He finished with 9 goals and was awesome .

For most Blues , 2009/10 was a most frustrating campaign due primarily to our excellent showing the previous year with only half a team . Moreover , in the wake of the departure of Lescott , we drafted in Heitinga and Bilyaletdinov . All good , one would imagine ,.. However , we should have known better as the one word we hadnt factored in was injuries . If we thoughtn 08/09 was bad , last season , as regards the sick-bay , knocked it into a cocked hat . Arteta , Victor and Jags remained out . Neville crocked his knee at Fulham , Yakubu was still out . It went on . We took a hiding at Benfica , our worst defeat in Europe and at Christmas were 4th from bottom .

However , in an outstanding 23 game run , beating both United and Chelsea en route we rose up the PremierLeague , missing out on UEFA by a place . Once more , we lamented a small squad and lots of injuries . It really was a case of what might have been . Truly . On the run in , yet again , on his own up front , Tim Cahill , having taken over the armband in Phil Neville’s absence , scored the winner at Eastlands , again , got 2 in a genuinely awesome personal performance at Villa Park , and another at Blackburn – his first with his feet since 2008. He finished the season was his requisite 10 goals , but more importantly , indeed , miraculously , at 5ft 7′ tall , as the leading scorer of headed goals in Premier League history . Think about that Stat for a second . Ferguson , Shearer , Ferdinand , Dublin , Crouch . Awesome , as it goes .

The World Cup of 2010 was not a great experience for Tim , given the previous one and the raised expectations as a result . He was harshly sent off for a tackle on Schweinsteiger against Germany , as the Aussie team , having aged together , struggled to make an impact in what , admittedly was a much tougher group than England’s , and were eliminated at the first hurdle . Nevertheless , my mate Timmy came back for the final game and duly scored in the draw with Serbia . His Coach , Rale Rasic called Cahill ,  ‘The best Australian footballer I have seen in my lifetime . ‘

He is a true Star in his homeland . Seriously . David Beckham kind of deal . He is Weet – Bix Man . Another BIG deal over there . Moreover , and fair play to him is involved with Unicef .

On my birthday , 31 July , Timmy scored his first ever Everton hat-trick at Norwich in a pre-season friendly .

In reviewing today’s Sermon , it has given me pause for thought on Timmy . Today of all days , as let’s be honest , I’ve just described Derbies where our injuries were as bad or worse , yet Timmy put his hand up and got us something . I’m hoping the same will happen later this afternoon .
Another thing that struck me is how , I feel few would argue , the top blue at the club at present , is from Sydney Australia . For a foreign player to  Get It  to such an extent that he tattoos it upon his person , is testament to both parties . He has played all midfield and offensive positions for this club , and even last year , marooned on the right wing , getting booed , if you don’t mind , by some , he did not moan or carry on . He did what Tim Cahill would always do for Everton . He got his head down and grafted it , and waited for a few to come back , return to his rightful position , and to shine . Which is precisely what he did .
His goals , over 50 in 6 seasons , which with injuries factored in , is simply , top drawer . Moreover , his ability in the air deserves a mini-sermon all of its own . At a club where I have witnessed Joe Royle , Bob Latchford , Sharpy , Andy Gray and Duncan , this man is on par with any of them . With the best of them , and he’s only 5ft 7′ . He has scored goals home and away at all of the top 4 clubs . And the 4 below that . His goal celebration – badge in teeth , ( kissing badge ) , points to tattoo , spars corner flag – he added a Matador Arm – Sweep , telling us he loves us all , late last year ; is among the best we’ve ever seen .

The occasion does not fluster him and above all he gives 100% for Everton Football Club on all occasions .
I began by stating that Tim Cahill was David Moyes’ finest ever purchase , well , upon concluding , I would suggest that more than that , pound-for-pound , given the period and the market , he is one of the 10 best Everton signing of all time .
I love him , me . Indeed , I would say Timmy is in my personal top 3 Evertonians ever . For an Australian , that is some honour . He deserves it too .

Therefore , on this most apprehensive of days , this Domingo , thank the Almighty for providing Timothy Joel Faliqa Cahill . Scourge of the RS and our first true foreign Evertonian Legend . Treasure him while we still have him . He  Gets it  .

Amen .

May the Good Lord be with you ( today , of ) all ( days ) .

Look after your peoples .

Peace Out .

The ( Catholic ) Reverand L.C.A.B.




3 thoughts on “The Sunday Sermon ; Tim Cahill”

  1. THT

    Bally , What can I say ? Awesome Sermon and quite simply a , modern day Everton Legend. Timmy does indeed ‘get it’ and reacts like the supporters when we score. He is truly one of us and I love him.


  2. Mitch

    Great piece on a truly influential and respected aussie, great work blues!

  3. Mcb

    You absolute bloody Ripper mate.

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9 thoughts on “The Sunday Sermon ; Tim Cahill”

  1. Brilliant as usual LCAB – he will be sorely missed, an absolute everton legend in every sense of the word. thanks for the memories tim, will definitely be drinking in your honor this weekend for sure. maybe even box a lampost or 2.

    keep up the great stuff bally, always a pleasure to read whatever you write. muchos lavias

  2. Did much to impress my own thoughts yet again. No one that I’ve seen, well since Duncan, has embodied the Everton spirit quite like Tiny Tim. True modern legend and an inspiration to all both on, and off, the field. Brilliant writing LCAB.

  3. Superb write up for a man who deserves everything good said about him in a Blue shirt. I love him, My hero. I will tell my kids about this fella so much. I’ve never seen us win anything and thats the only bad glint on Cahill’s Everton career , Winning nothing. Gutted he’s leaving. Excellent Sermon LCAB.

  4. Fitting tribute to one of my all time Everton heroes! First class as a person both on and off the pitch. Most important of all though, a first class Evertonian who ‘got’ what the club and the fans were all about!


    If you’re an Evertonian and like LCAB you love Tim Cahill, the above YouTube video says it all.

  6. What a player you,ve given him a good write up David , Me and the boy love Timmy Jesus saves but Cahill nets the rebound .
    Timmy the blue socceroo will be sadly missed

  7. Pingback: Tim Cahill: 5 Fast Facts You Need to Know | HEAVY

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