The Sunday Sermon ; Tim Cahill


For those in Helmand Province , Afghanistan generally , or indeed ANYWHERE Serving Their Country and away from their Loved Ones , if this lightens even 5 minutes of your day , then , to borrow the parlance , it shall be , Mission Accomplished .

Stay Safe , Peoples . THAT , is a GD ORDER !!!

For My Mother , My World , LCABarb , an’ Me Aunty Doreen .



May the Good Lord be with you all .

Welcome all to our little corner of the Sabbath .

As I stated last week , and in view of today’s impending fixture , there is a broad Merseyside Derby theme to both last week’s Sermon and this one.

When David Moyes eventually hangs up the keys to the Manager’s Office , and the inevitable reviews of his tenure begin , I believe that on the topic of his greatest ever Everton signing , in spite of various genuine contenders for the honour , the subject of today’s Sermon will stand victorious .
Costing a measly £1.5 million , he has subsequently scored over 50 goals for this great club , and please God , more to add . He plays with a passion and a love for a wonderful institution , matched only by the very greatest legends of Everton F.C.
When it comes to ,  ‘Getting It’  , the recipient of this morning’s focus , is a tattooed up bluenose of the very highest order , albeit via Sydney , Australia .

Ladies and Gentlemen of the Congregation , , may I introduce , Timothy Joel Faliqa Cahill .

Timmy was born in the land of the Swag Bag , on December 08 , 1979 , to a British Father and a Samoan Mother . A gifted footballer from childhood , the lad comes from a family of Athletes – his brother , Chris is a Professional Footballer , and cousins , Joe and Jeremy Stanley , are both All Blacks , and Ben Roberts , N.Z. Rugby League . He went to Kingsgrove North High School , and whilst there , was approached by the Samoan F.A. and was subsequently chosen for their Under -17 side . He was 14 years of age . He duly opted to represent the land of his Mother , and continued with his education . Upon leaving School , Tim signed to his local side , Sydney United . A supremely confident individual , he begged his Parents to let him travel to England to seek his fortune , and , as Millwall had responded to Timmy’s letter and had him Scouted , they offered him a contract .
Thus , Mr. and Mrs. Cahill – he says it’s Car- Hill , btw , but there we are ; were reluctantly persuaded , and Our Timmy was bound for Cold Blow Lane , in a free transfer from the Aussie club .

Timmy did a short stint in the reserves whilst acclimatizing , but was soon a fixture in the Lions’ midfield . Indeed , in 2003/04 virtually single handedly dragged them , for the first time in their history , to an F.A. Cup Final . Certainly , he was the man who got them to Cardiff , after the Semi Final score line – which L.C.A.B. won a tasty little few quid that year , ( makes mental note for 5 Hail Marys and 5 Our Fathers in penance ,..) Millwall , 1-0 , Cahill . They got mullah’d in the Final by Manchester United , 3-0 ,
nevertheless , Timmy did not disgrace himself , and it was with whoops of joy from myself , when whilst incarcerated on the train , returning from , ironically , Crystal Palace , I was informed that Palace had baulked at the extra £100,000 – their offer having been provisionally accepted by Millwall , allowing Everton to step in and seal the deal at £1.5 million and add-ons . Timmy Cahill left Millwall F.C. having played an impressive 250 games , and an even more impressive 52 goals for the club .

On his move to Goodison , Timmy said ; ‘ It’s a dream come true ,..’
He docked at an Everton side recently shorn of Wunder-Kind Rooney , and still in the early days of Moyes rebuilding project . The up one year , down the next cycle was beginning to manifest itself , and anybody else , like myself , who had travelled to Manchester City to witness Asbo’s last game for us would not have been filled with optimism for the coming campaign . Stubbs , Ferguson , Weirdo and Undies were the stalwarts . Martyn was coming to the end in goal . A midfield consisting of no-one in particular . Gravesen and McFadden were about as close as we came to flair .

We were down but not out , though in desperate need of a Hero .

Timmy Cahill made his debut at Old Trafford , in a decent 0-0 draw . He acquitted himself well , and was unlucky not to score in our best performance there in 5 years . The following week , as the fixtures would have it , we again found ourselves in the land of ‘Bobbins’ , but this time , The Council House .

I duly made another trip down the motorway . However , due to my previous fortune regarding our Australian , I decided – as I had the previous week , though then only for Timmy to score ; on a sneaky little £5 double ; Cahill , 1-0 . Thus , me and my mate Dave Carroll from Blackburn and his lads , celebrated all the more at the final whistle , as of course Timmy scored the only goal of the game- though he received a red card for removing his shirt . He was off and running .

Kerchinng , ( ..10 Hail Marys ,..)
His sending off did take the shine of it a tad , if only because the home fans would have to wait to see him , but the point was made . This kid was a winner .

As we are all aware , 2004/2005 turned out to be one of our best seasons in a generation .

Rooney wasn’t missed . We were limited , that is true , Pistone , Kilbane , S Watson , but we had grafters and more than that , team spirit , something , by the end of the boy wonder’s tenure in blue , that was sadly lacking .
We despatched the RS at home , and anyone wishing to gauge our little Antipodean’s Azzuri – Love , need only check his kite , as he is top man on the ,  ‘Piley-On ‘ , resulting from Super Lee’s strike . He  ‘Got It ‘.

Gravesen left at Christmas , as Beattie came in , as well as a Poco Spanish Maestro , Mikel Arteta .

So , we battled our way to , given the personnel , an incredible 4th place in the Premier League , finishing above the RS , and into the qualifying round of the Champions League . From a personal perspective , our win at Villa Park , 3-1 – it should’ve been 13 , is among my top ten Everton away days ever . Possibly even top 5 . We were awesome , I had a ball , and was on M.O.T.D. as Timmy gets his second .
He finished his first season as an Evertonian as top scorer , 11 , and Player of the Season in our best campaign in nearly 20 years . He noted the influence of both Alan Stubbs and Duncan Ferguson in learning him what it means to play for Everton . The Little Aussie had settled in lovely .

During the previous summer Timmy had been selected to represent the land of his birth in the Olympics . Due to his earlier game for Samoa Under – 17 , there was a certain amount of red tape , but he was ultimately allowed to play for Australia . He made his debut at Loftus Road , Q.P.R. against South Africa , and was a huge hit with the Convicts , as after being selected for their Olympic squad shortly after , he departed from the Games having scored 5 goals in his short Australian career . His exploits the previous season , allied to his amazing start to International Football , saw him voted Oceania Player of the Year for 2004 .

He returned to Merseyside to find the club , as a sign of the impact he had made , had placed a new 5 year contract on the table with greatly increased terms . He signed it in an instant , and accepted the responsibility of being one of the Club’s top earners .

Alas , once more , us being Everton , the new season did not exactly go to plan . Indeed , by early September , via the worst decision that Collina ever made , plus an absolute horror show in Bucharest , we were out of all European competitions . Thus , seeing all the previous year’s efforts going to nothing – though Our Timmy did score his first European goal for Everton in the 1-0 home win over Bucharest .

In the league , also , the up – down thing was in full flow . We meandered our way through a disappointment – given the previous year , of a season . The nadir , two , 3-1 Derby losses – though again , Timmy did get his first goal at Anfield , Kop end . Also , a 4-0 home loss to Bolton , and the high points , a 4-1 trouncing of Aston Villa , and Tim missing out on his first Everton hat-trick , when , after having scored 2 versus Charlton , he crashed a corker of a volley against the Gwladys Street End Post . Another volumes speaking gesture was , upon scoring against his previous club Millwall in the F.A.Cup 3rd round replay , he chose not to celebrate . ‘To ,..(do so ) ,..would have been a kick in the teeth .’

The kid was brought up properly . That much was obvious .

2005/06 also saw the debut of Timmy’s  ‘Sparring with the corner flag’ , .. celebration – borrowed from his friend , and A League Striker , Archie Thompson – alas for Thompson , only he and Timmy still call it the Archie Thompson Celebration ..

We ended up 7th , and towards the end of the campaign we were devastated to lose Brian Labone , to a Heart Attack . The final game of 2005/06 saw the retirement of our one remaining Everton Legend on the field , as Duncan departed , which left Timmy as the Standard Bearer of all things Evertonian , at the end of a campaign we all just wanted to forget .

Of course , in the summer of 2006 , the World Cup was held in Germany . Australia had qualified for only their 2nd ever Finals Tournament , and with Gus Hiddink as Coach , were quietly confident . Timmy by this time was a recognised member of the squad . Their first game against Japan , saw our favourite Antipodean become the first player to score for Australia at the Finals , and in doubling his tally , of course , became the first Aussie to get 2 in a game He also won M.O.M. , again , the first for a Convict at a W/C Finals . He also played in an unlucky loss to Brazil and an excellent draw against Croatia . In what turned out to be an excellent showing by the team , they were unlucky , some say robbed , against the eventual winners , Italy , going down 1-0 . Nevertheless , Timmy was now a , Star on the World Stage , and kids all over the globe were boxing imaginary corner flags .

2006/07 began with our breaking our transfer record for the second time in 18 months . Andy Johnson was signed from Crystal Palace , ostensibly to play alongside his great mate James Beattie , when in fact ,  Beat’s , God love him , just didn’t quite cut it at Goodison , and AJ would play the majority of his first season alone up front , thus allowing Timmy to , do his thing .

Our season began at Watford , with AJ, scoring on debut , in a 2-1 victory . A draw at Blackburn and another win at home versus Spurs , saw the RS come to Town with us playing relatively decently . Though , they as ever , are the RS , and should NEVER be either trusted or under-estimated .

As things turned out , we needn’t have worried . Two first half goals from Timmy , his first Goodison Derby strike , and one from AJ , saw us take control . We truly battered them , and by the time AJ scored his second and gave the now famous , 3 – 0 , sign with his hands , we were partying like it was 1999 – again .

Two things stand out for me in that game . Timmy’s magnificent headlock upon Alonso in the build up to the 2nd goal , and his post match interview .

‘ ..Yes , I’m delighted to have beaten Liverpool , 3-0 . However , I’m more pleased for AJ . Now he knows what it REALLY means to be a blue . ‘

In October 2006 , Tim Cahill was nominated for the Ballon D’Or – the first Evertonian in 18 years to receive such an honour , and a sign , of the Global impact he had made both in the Premier League , and on International Football . Unfortunately , however , 2 games later , in the home match versus Aston Villa , Tim was caught by team-mate ,  ‘Super ‘ Lee Carsley , and crocked for 3 months with a knee injury .
He made his return in the home draw with Reading in January , though in a microcosm of our year that season , he was no longer settled back down than he was gone again , after snapping his metatarsal in the draw at Brammall Lane . I was there that day , and 2 things stick in the mind . John Parrot with his own boy and Duncan’s eldest going in with the lads , thus giving the kids the real away experience , and , Timmy , having done the injury – no-one’s fault , was helped off the pitch , with the game going on , by one , Phillip Jagielka .I remember walking up after the game with two of their lads whom told me he was Everton
bound . That was March , I was made up , as aside from being a Gentleman with Timmy he was a hell player an all . History made me right .

The injury saw an end to a frustrating season for both player , and club . He finished his worst ever campaign , goals wise , with 5 . Fortunately , despite a little wobble near the end , the team carried on its momentum in his absence , clinching 5th place and a UEFA qualification place . However , as a club , we were once more devastated to lose yet another Legend , with the untimely death of the Great Alan Ball .

Timmy signed a further extension in June 2007 , keeping him at Goodison until 2012 .

2007/8 dawned with a victory over Wigan , though in truth , it was once more , two-steps-forward-one-step–back . Supposedly the worst Liverpool team we had ever seen came and beat us in the Derby , and the nadir was Villa at home., Timmy was injured in a pre-season friendly against Werder Bremen and did not return to the side until October , against Larissa , scoring on his resumption and it couldn’t be soon enough for Evertonians . Whereas the previous season we had focused , as a side around one particular individual , more than we have for anyone since Lineker ; alas , AJ was not anything like as effective second time around , particularly in front of goal . With Timmy still recovering , Moyesey duly broke the transfer record he had set with AJ , and signed Ayegbeni Yakubu .

There was , however , one moment of controversy , when , after scoring in the 3-1 win over Portsmouth , Cahill crossed his wrists in reference to his brother Sean , then incarcerated on charges of Grievous Bodily Harm . After much furore in the media both here and abroad , Timmy issued an apology to the families of the victims and anyone whom had been offended .

Tim Cahill made his 100th appearance for Everton against Sunderland at Goodison scoring one in in the 7-1 win .
In his post-match interview , he reiterated the influence of Alan Stubbs and Duncan Ferguson in instilling in him in what it MEANS to be playing for Everton .

The team maintained a fairly consistent season , with a League Cup Semi Final , our first in 20 years – losing to Chelsea over 2 legs , a decent show in Europe , losing unluckily on penalties to Fiorentina in the last 16 , and securing a 5th place in the league and yet another Eufa qualification spot .

Our favourite Aussie once more achieved his target of 10 goals for the season and all in all we were pleased ..

With the fresh season of 2008/09 came a new bean pole , Sideshow-Bob look-alike record signing , and an opening day defeat to Paul Ince’s Blackburn . This was followed by a win at W.B.A. , then a home tonking off Pompey , with Glen Johnson bagging a cracker in the St. End . We could all see the progress , but it was still two-steps-forward , too bleeding often . Timmy missed the first 3 games , returning , and scoring in the 3-2 win at Stoke . He bagged another in a draw at Hull , then the RS came to Town ,
We were relatively confident , despite the previous year’s ‘hiccup’ . We felt we were a better side than 12 months ago , and , if we Feed the Yak ,Who knew ???

As it turned out of course , a team even worse than the one last year came and beat us 2-0 . Furthermore , Our favourite Aussie was sent off . A totally horrendous and nightmarish day all round .

However , the side dug in , with some decent results , a second win on the trot at Spurs , but a devastating last minute home defeat to Aston Vanilla . Timmy , however , stepped in to save the day . Taking over as Captain from the injured Phil Neville , there was no prouder Blue .

Indeed , for Christmas 2008 , Tim Cahill gave himself an addendum to his already formidable Family Tree Tattoo , by getting , E.F.C. inscribed – a la L.C.A.B. , as it goes ; thus , becoming the second genuine Everton Hero in a row to have the Club’s name , badge , emblem or initials permanently imprinted upon his person .

Typically us , as we were winning at White Hart Lane , Yak picked up a nasty injury which would end his season . Given that AJ was now a Fulham player , Moyesey had no choice but to play Cahill up front on his own . We were trepidatious to say the least . We needn’t have worried .
He scored the winner at Eastlands before Christmas , the only goal of the game . He scored again at Boro as we repeated both the score-line and the win on Boxing Day .
The draw for the F.A. Cup saw us get sent to Castle Grey Skull , but first we had to go there in the league .

I struggled for tickets for the Monday night game , so I ended up going on me own . I was sat in the row next to the RS fans . While we put on a good show – Reina made a World Class save early on , Kop end , from the best header from an Everton player at Anfield that I have ever seen – Timmy bulleted one from the edge of the area into the bottom corner , from a top Victor cross ; as Stevie Me La scored his requisite goal against us , and as time was marching on , I was fearing the worst . We had a shout for a penalty , on Victor , kb’d , but the same player , effective in a wide role , drew a foul , and a free kick , near the touchline , approximately 10 yards from the dead ball line . If you ever watch this again , watch Mikel’s signal , and my ABSOLUTE fav’ Convict , as he weaves in between both Carragher and Skirtel , ducks down and nods the ball into the Anfield Rd goal . I went BESERK . Indeed , I celebrated that goal that night like few Derby goals ever . In scoring , Tim Cahill became the first Evertonian since Dixie to score 3 times at Anfield . Absolute Super Star , btw , and I stayed behind for TIME an’ all .

So , boss result in the league , see you Sunday for the Cup game . Alas , us being Everton , we had a further injury , Arteta receiving a knock in training and thus missed out . The little known Segundo – which can’t have been great for his self-esteem as a youth , Castillo stepped in . Again fearing the worst , this time we actually started well , Jo Lescott scoring from a Timmy header – which would’ve gone in , gave us a half-time lead , and doing OK .Of course , second half , Me La , rifled in a 30 yarder which our Goalie should’ve stopped and it was back to Goodison in 2 weeks .
Meanwhile , Tim Cahill scored his 100th career goal in the 1-1 draw against Arsenal , an unlucky 1-0 defeat at Man United and it was the RS replay . With Neville returning , Timbo was no longer Captain . However , it didn’t look as if anyone had told him , as on the night he was immense . On his own up front he harassed their whole back line all night . Of course , the Good Lord was with us as Gosling scored his most famous goal in Blue . Cue delirium .

We went on to batter Bolton in the league , 3-0 , then took revenge for the league game in blasting Vanilla out of the Cup , 3-1 . In scoring , Timmy dedicated his goal to the victims of the Victorian Bush Fires . On another occasion , upon scoring against Bate Borisov in Belarus , he dedicated that goal to the victims of the Samoan Tsunami Earthquake .

In an absolutely freakish , yet quintessentially St. Domingo manner , we lost Arteta and Anichebe for the rest of the Season , in the same game at the Barcodes – we haven’t forgotten , Kopite Tawt Nolan . Thus , having had one arm tied behind our backs previously , we were now limping as well . Amazingly , the side , with Tim Cahill as our absolute Vanguard fought on . We saw off Middlesborough in what , after an early scare , was a relatively stress-free passage into the F.A. Cup Semi Final , and our first trip to Wembley in 14 years .

Unfortunately , we had to play Manchester United .
As we all know , we found out that Superman DID indeed wear Tim Cahill Pyjamas as we miraculously hung on in a game of little chances to hold our nerve in the shoot-out – though Timmy missed our only poor penalty , watch his face after he does it , then check him when Jags buries the winner and pandemonium breaks out .

It was therefore beyond cruel , past heartbreaking when in an innocuous fall against Manchester City , Jags did his cruciate ligament , was out for the season and effectively lost us the F.A. Cup Final . Amazingly , we literally limped on , securing a UEFA qualification on our league standing , but also via our Cup exploits .

We went on to lose a Cup Final , which , in truth , despite an early goal , we were never going to win . We had came through nearly 6 months of , make-do-and-mend , and not merely survived , but prospered . Everyone stood up , but most of all , Timmy . He was truly inspiring in the way he played a position other than his own , on his own . He came up against most of the top defenders in the Country during the period and gave them ALL a game . He finished with 9 goals and was awesome .

For most Blues , 2009/10 was a most frustrating campaign due primarily to our excellent showing the previous year with only half a team . Moreover , in the wake of the departure of Lescott , we drafted in Heitinga and Bilyaletdinov . All good , one would imagine ,.. However , we should have known better as the one word we hadnt factored in was injuries . If we thoughtn 08/09 was bad , last season , as regards the sick-bay , knocked it into a cocked hat . Arteta , Victor and Jags remained out . Neville crocked his knee at Fulham , Yakubu was still out . It went on . We took a hiding at Benfica , our worst defeat in Europe and at Christmas were 4th from bottom .

However , in an outstanding 23 game run , beating both United and Chelsea en route we rose up the PremierLeague , missing out on UEFA by a place . Once more , we lamented a small squad and lots of injuries . It really was a case of what might have been . Truly . On the run in , yet again , on his own up front , Tim Cahill , having taken over the armband in Phil Neville’s absence , scored the winner at Eastlands , again , got 2 in a genuinely awesome personal performance at Villa Park , and another at Blackburn – his first with his feet since 2008. He finished the season was his requisite 10 goals , but more importantly , indeed , miraculously , at 5ft 7′ tall , as the leading scorer of headed goals in Premier League history . Think about that Stat for a second . Ferguson , Shearer , Ferdinand , Dublin , Crouch . Awesome , as it goes .

The World Cup of 2010 was not a great experience for Tim , given the previous one and the raised expectations as a result . He was harshly sent off for a tackle on Schweinsteiger against Germany , as the Aussie team , having aged together , struggled to make an impact in what , admittedly was a much tougher group than England’s , and were eliminated at the first hurdle . Nevertheless , my mate Timmy came back for the final game and duly scored in the draw with Serbia . His Coach , Rale Rasic called Cahill ,  ‘The best Australian footballer I have seen in my lifetime . ‘

He is a true Star in his homeland . Seriously . David Beckham kind of deal . He is Weet – Bix Man . Another BIG deal over there . Moreover , and fair play to him is involved with Unicef .

On my birthday , 31 July , Timmy scored his first ever Everton hat-trick at Norwich in a pre-season friendly .

In reviewing today’s Sermon , it has given me pause for thought on Timmy . Today of all days , as let’s be honest , I’ve just described Derbies where our injuries were as bad or worse , yet Timmy put his hand up and got us something . I’m hoping the same will happen later this afternoon .
Another thing that struck me is how , I feel few would argue , the top blue at the club at present , is from Sydney Australia . For a foreign player to  Get It  to such an extent that he tattoos it upon his person , is testament to both parties . He has played all midfield and offensive positions for this club , and even last year , marooned on the right wing , getting booed , if you don’t mind , by some , he did not moan or carry on . He did what Tim Cahill would always do for Everton . He got his head down and grafted it , and waited for a few to come back , return to his rightful position , and to shine . Which is precisely what he did .
His goals , over 50 in 6 seasons , which with injuries factored in , is simply , top drawer . Moreover , his ability in the air deserves a mini-sermon all of its own . At a club where I have witnessed Joe Royle , Bob Latchford , Sharpy , Andy Gray and Duncan , this man is on par with any of them . With the best of them , and he’s only 5ft 7′ . He has scored goals home and away at all of the top 4 clubs . And the 4 below that . His goal celebration – badge in teeth , ( kissing badge ) , points to tattoo , spars corner flag – he added a Matador Arm – Sweep , telling us he loves us all , late last year ; is among the best we’ve ever seen .

The occasion does not fluster him and above all he gives 100% for Everton Football Club on all occasions .
I began by stating that Tim Cahill was David Moyes’ finest ever purchase , well , upon concluding , I would suggest that more than that , pound-for-pound , given the period and the market , he is one of the 10 best Everton signing of all time .
I love him , me . Indeed , I would say Timmy is in my personal top 3 Evertonians ever . For an Australian , that is some honour . He deserves it too .

Therefore , on this most apprehensive of days , this Domingo , thank the Almighty for providing Timothy Joel Faliqa Cahill . Scourge of the RS and our first true foreign Evertonian Legend . Treasure him while we still have him . He  Gets it  .

Amen .

May the Good Lord be with you ( today , of ) all ( days ) .

Look after your peoples .

Peace Out .

The ( Catholic ) Reverand L.C.A.B.




3 thoughts on “The Sunday Sermon ; Tim Cahill”

  1. THT

    Bally , What can I say ? Awesome Sermon and quite simply a , modern day Everton Legend. Timmy does indeed ‘get it’ and reacts like the supporters when we score. He is truly one of us and I love him.


  2. Mitch

    Great piece on a truly influential and respected aussie, great work blues!

  3. Mcb

    You absolute bloody Ripper mate.